The Year Harry Potter Went Mad
by SakuraTomoyoInc
Summary: Title says basically everything. Full summary inside. R&R, please!
1. The New and Unimproved Harry Potter

Author's note: This is yet another roleplay I'm doing with my friend JaJa which is about Harry Potter. (This is Amina speaking, If you can't tell.) However, the characters are EXTREMELY OUT OF CHARACTER and it's just Harry Potter… and some munchkins.

Character personality changes are as follows:

Neville is the king of sarcasm, he's actually smart, and he is the so-called 'Munchkin Master'. (As in he recrutes munchkins, or First Years, in his Neville Fan Club with the promise of 'Something Really Cool'. However, whenever the munchkins think they did something wrong, they burst into flame and 50 points are deducted from Gryffindor. Don't ask… Johnna and I were really bored.)

Harry is… hyper. He's not very smart at all, is quite clueless, and refers to himself as a random superhero he makes up in his own little world. (Such as Superbox and Kikoman. Currently he is 'Sheeplish')

Hermione is the same, but she just has a crush on _the_ most random people. (Draco, Neville, a tea pot…)

Ron is the same, only he's not very funny and he's really just sort-of… there. (He does like Hermione though)

Malfoy is clueless, and is a bit like Harry only he still acts the way he does in the books. However, he likes Hermione, so that's a bit strange. (He calls her his 'Tulip' for Pete's sake!)

Pansy is just a giggling little dimwit, really.

Voldemort is… not that evil and easy to defeat… (People now refer to him as 'Voldie'.)

Snape is perfectly in character, as is McGonagall and Dumbeldore. (They only show up at their classes, though, and McGonagall just takes off points when the munchkins ignite.)

Trelewany is still WEIRD but much more random… a bit like Harry, really.

Now lets begin… the foursome are in the Gryffindor Commonroom, talking there free time away.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY PUMPERNICKEL!" Harry said for what seemed to be the 20th time. By now, the others were just ignoring him, hoping he would just SHUT UP.

"I think I'm in love," Hermione said in a dreamy voice, twirling about the commonroom with little hearts in her eyes.

"Erm… you are?" Neville asked in bored tone, writing what appeared to be a sign-up sheet of some sort.

Ron, however, was quite interested… to say the least. "WHAT? WITH WHO?" Ron had a huge crush on Hermione, and became immedietly jealous of whoever it was.

"But… he totally hates me…" Hermione sighed, sitting back down in a chair. Harry tried to cheer her up by saying 'pony' for five minutes, but that didn't work. Duh.

"Harry has problems," Neville remarked, finally looking up from his 'very interesting' writing.

Ron snorted. "You just now realised that?"

"Well, come on… time for breakfast at the Great Hall," Hermione sighed, getting up from her chair slowly. The walked to the Great Hall in silence… that is, in silence until Dumbledore passed by, staring at Harry wonderingly.

"How he survived against Voldemort I do not know…" He remarked, shuffling past.

"I wonder that, too," Hermione added, observing Harry.

"I TOLD HIM I WAS A LEPERCAURN!" Harry screamed gleefully, twirling around much like Hermione had in the Commonroom.

"'Lepercaurn', he says," Neville said disapprovingly, "IT'S LERPERCAUN! THERE IS NO EXTRA 'R'!"

"Well, now today we - " Hermione began, but froze stock-still when a group of people walked past. As soon as they were completely out of sight, Hermione finally moved and let out a long, slow sigh.

"Oh God. You do NOT like him Hermione," Neville said, quite shocked.

"Of… of course I don't, silly!" Hermione stammered, forcing a smile on her face.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW. HERMIONE LIKES DRACKEY-DOOKEY-DOODEY-POO!" Harry yelled, glomping Hermione. All Ron could do was stomp away, his face a dark crimson.

Soon they arrived in the Great Hall, and began tormenting each other admist a breakfast of cinnamon swirls and Pop Tarts.

"Awwwwwww. Ickle-Ronny-Kins is jealous!" Harry teased, to which Ron stammered, "No.. No I'm not!"

Neville couldn't help to chuckle. "Ickle-Ronny-Kins, indeed…"

Hermione was oblivious to both food and her comrades however, since she was staring at Draco, and therefore did not notice Ron's revealing blush.

"Just keep on staring, Hermione," Neville remarked. "Yep. Staring at Draco is fun fun fun."

"Hmm? What?" Hermione replied, finally turning her head away from Draco.

For some strange reason, a ghost suddenly floated by, screaming 'doo hoo hoo' all the while. Harry couldn't resist, and went screaming the same thing after it.

"Am I the only sane one here?" Neville asked, and then turned to Hermione who had been trying to catch his attention. "Yes Hermione?"

"Well, I was wondering, Neville," She began, "Who do _you _like?"

"Me?" Nevile repeated, and without another thought answered. "I like sane people. Sadly, there is no one sane here."

"Oh come on! You must like some one!"

"Fine then. I like the Fat Friar."

At that moment the Fat Friar floated by, screaming 'doo hoo hoo', too.

"Nevermind… she isn't sane either," Neville sighed.

Suddenly Hermione gasped, and she coward timidly behind Neville. "He's coming this way!"

"You mean Ickle-Draco-Dums?"

"YES! Now help me!" She hissed, cowering further.

"Fine…," Neville agreed, and yelled at Draco, "YO! DRACO! Get over here!"

Draco strode over, trying to look as cool as always. "What do you want, Scardey Butt?"

"Smartie here would like your autograph," Neville said, to which Hermione pinched his arm and glared at him.

"What did you just call me!" Draco asked suspicously.

"Nothing," Neville said with a sigh, then added, "Do you consider yourself sane?"

"Me?" Draco asked, somewhat puzzled with the question.

"I'll take that as a 'no'," Neville declared, to which Hermione retorted, "Draco IS sane!" However, she soon realised her error and covered her mouth, trying to look as if she never said it.

Author's note: Et voila! First chapter done. More to come! Next chapter is to be written by JaJa.


	2. The Big Bang

A/N: Hey guys, it's me, Jaja! Today our chapter is quite… how can I say this… interesting. Yes good word. Ok Today our chapter is interesting. Yet pretty much all of them are insanely hilarious… or if you prefer the term stupid. Ok, I'll stop rambling and give you the second chapter! One last note: Hey, hey! Let's dance!

**Disclaimer:** Do you seriously think we own Harry Potter? No, if we did Sirius and god ol' Dumby would be alive and Harry would eat too much toast then die.

Chapter 2

The Big Bang

Just as Draco was about to say something, Harry came sprinting at them screaming "DOO HOO HOO," at the top of his lungs. He glomped the Slytherin boy, who immediately jumped backwards telling him to get off.

"You guys are demented," sighed Neville, as he gulped down a piece of toast. "Utterly… demented."

"I LIKE BEING DEMENTED! YAY FOR BEING DEMENTED!" Screamed, yep you guessed it, Harry.

"Neville, don't egg him on," sighed Hermione almost dreamily due to the fact that she was staring at Draco.

"Sorry, but it was just there… I had to say it!" His comment went unnoticed due to four facts

1. Hermione was staring at Draco

2. Draco was glaring at Ron

3. Harry was attacking Ron

4. Ron was glaring and repeatedly asking Draco why he was there.

Sighing, he clapped his hands to get their attention then said, "Well, look's like we're late for Trelawney's stupid class."

"Oh my goodness! I'm late for ancient runes! Buh-bye guys," yelled Hermione as she ran off to her class.

Divination

Sibyll Trelawney was sitting in her classroom that was filled with the exception of three small stools in the corner of the room, gazing into her crystal ball until she suddenly looked up and in her very fake voice drawled, "I see………………. a doughnut!"

"YAY DOUGHNUTS!" I can only hope you guessed who (out of the three people walking in) screamed it.

"As usual I am in a room filled with idiots," half moaned half muttered Neville as he left the classroom with an anxious Ron behind him. "Think I'll check up on Smartie… yeah sounds good."

Ancient Runes

Neville stood in the corner of the room occasionally saying things like "Oh look Smartie's writing Ickle Draco's name all over her textbook, how swee- retarded" and "Oh how cute young love is", until suddenly a cold high pitched voice came from the corner of the room.

"HA HA! I AM LORD VOLDEMORT! BRU HA HA! FEAR ME!"

"Ah. I'm so scared," replied Neville sarcastically.

"Yes you should be!" And with that Neville poked him with his wand and Lord Voldemort fell down dead.

"Wow… that was useful." A new disturbance ran- or should I say flew into the room. It was Peeves, who was holding ink bottles. He threw one at Neville who ducked, then one at Hermione who got hit but did not pay attention.

"Oh Draco would like that look, don't cha' think Ron?"

"WHY SHOULD I CARE," screamed Ron, who had steam coming out of his ears and a red face to match. At that moment Hermione turned around looking straight at Neville. 'I shouldn't have said that should I've?' Thought Neville all too late.

"NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM! I AM GIVING YOU THREE SECONDS TO RUN!" He gladly took advantage of these three precious seconds to run to the Herbology classroom where the Slytherin's were having class.

Herbology

They walked in and found Draco and Pansy Parkinson sitting at a table for four… alone. Neville proceeded to wave at Draco like a two year old, who was 'deep in conversation' (or as I like to call it, trying desperately to ignore Neville). Neville, who does not like to be ignored, immediately straddled a stool at their table and said, "Isn't poison ivy fun Drackey-wackey-poo?"

Draco growled something unintelligible under his breath then muttered loud enough for Neville to hear, "Go away."

Neville ignored his comment and decided to pinch Draco's cheeks while he said, "Oh yes it is! Yes it is," in his most annoying babying voice.

"What is your fascination with me anyway?"

"Smartie likes you, so I have to embarrass both of you so finally you'll bond together and get married because you were tortured by me. Plus, you're sooooooooooooooo fun to annoy! It's like I have my own little demented brother-in-law!"

"God no!" Screeched Pansy Parkinson.

"Yes… she does."

"Wait who's Smartie again? TELL ME," said Draco with a most confused tone.

"My god you are stupid… HER-MI-O-NINNY GR-AAAAAAAAAAN-GERGER!"

"Wait… don't tell me… I know! Hermione! It's Hermione," said Draco, who looked very proud of himself.

"Soooo, lucky one, what are you gonna do with your tulip?"

"I'm… wait... Tulip?"

But just then, said Tulip walked into the building, and shouted at Neville, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"Talking about flowers," he said casually.

"Hey Tulip," said Pansy, who had found a new hatred for the brown-haired girl.

"Where? Huh?" Draco was spinning around wildly looking for 'Tulip'.

"PANSY YOU IDIOT! You just screwed up my cover," said Neville angrily. He rushed out of the classroom to find a hiding spot and think of witty comments to confuse the smartest witch of this generation.

Random Hallway, behind a suit of armor

"Hey. You aren't very well hidden," said Ron who was walking past and spotted him immediately.

"SHUT UP RONALD!"

"Plus, you just yelled… very large giveaway if you ask me," he said slowly. Neville got up and hid behind a large cabinet, and to his dismay, was followed by Ron. They changed their voices to a whisper.

All was going well (they talked about Quidditch) until Ron casually whispered, "The other day I heard you and Hermione discussing you liking someone. Who?"

Neville opened his mouth to respond but just then a raging Hermione pushed the cabinet aside, wand at the ready, so he just said in a flattering tone, "Hello Hermione… might I say that you look very pretty today…" Unknown to the three people, a dark figure from down the hallway was counting under it's breath, "5… 4… 3… 2…1."

Anyone a mile away could have heard what happened next. A large "BOOM!" came from that hallway. It was not a man made boom.

A/N: Yay! I'm proud of this. Ok so I think it sucks on ice, but I am still proud! I have low writing confidence, so I would love it if you review and at least TELL me that it was horrible so I'm not worrying about it for the rest of my life. Thanks!

Jaja, OAO (over and out)


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